What Can You Learn:

When people think about trauma responses, they usually imagine the classic fight-or-flight reactions. However, trauma is far more complex than these two extremes. Two of the most overlooked and misunderstood responses are the Freeze and Fawn states — survival strategies that often become deeply ingrained patterns long after the danger is gone.

These responses can shape our relationships, boundaries, self-worth, and emotional regulation in ways we don’t immediately recognize. Understanding them is the first step toward healing.

What Are Trauma Responses?

Trauma responses are automatic, instinctive survival strategies generated by the nervous system when a person perceives a threat. They are not conscious decisions; they happen because the brain prioritizes safety over everything else.

The four primary trauma responses are:

• Fight – becoming aggressive or confrontational
• Flight – avoiding, escaping, or distancing
• Freeze – shutting down, disconnecting, or becoming immobilized
• Fawn – pleasing, appeasing, or prioritizing others to stay safe

While fight and flight are more visible and widely discussed, freeze and fawn often go unnoticed — sometimes even by the individuals experiencing them.

The Freeze Response: When the Body Hits “Pause”

The freeze response is the body’s way of protecting itself when it feels powerless or trapped. Instead of fighting or running, the nervous system shuts down to minimize harm.

Key Features of the Freeze Response

• Feeling numb, disconnected, or “spaced out”
• Difficulty making decisions or taking action
• Mental fog, confusion, or slowed thoughts
• Physical stillness, tightness, or inability to move
• Emotional shutdown or dissociation

Freeze can look like procrastination, but it’s not laziness. It’s an overwhelmed nervous system stuck between danger and powerlessness.

What Causes the Freeze Response?

The freeze response often develops from:

• Childhood environments where expressing needs felt unsafe
• Emotional neglect or unpredictability
• Situations where escape was impossible
• Chronic invalidation or controlling environments

Over time, freeze becomes the default state during stress, conflict, or overwhelm. Many adults don’t realize they’re freezing because they’ve lived with this pattern for years.

How Freeze Shows Up in Daily Life

• Struggling to start tasks even when you want to
• Feeling paralyzed in decision-making
• “Zoning out” during conflict
• Using distraction (scrolling, bingeing) to avoid discomfort
• Feeling stuck in life, relationships, or career

Freeze protects, but it also prevents growth when it becomes chronic.

The Fawn Response: When People-Pleasing Becomes Survival

The fawn response involves prioritizing someone else’s needs, emotions, or comfort in order to stay safe. It’s often misinterpreted as kindness, empathy, or being “easy-going,” but at its core, fawning is about self-abandonment.

Key Features of the Fawn Response

• Difficulty saying “no”
• Avoiding conflict at all costs
• Hypervigilance to others’ moods
• Feeling responsible for other people’s emotions
• Over-giving or over-explaining
• Apologizing excessively

People who fawn often lose their identity because they’re trained to shape-shift based on what others want from them.

What Causes the Fawn Response?

Fawning is commonly rooted in:

• Growing up with emotionally volatile or demanding caregivers
• Environments where being “good,” quiet, or helpful ensured safety
• Relationships where your needs were dismissed or punished
• Repeated experiences of rejection or abandonment

This response develops as a way to avoid conflict and maintain connection — especially when connection felt conditional.

How Fawn Shows Up in Daily Life

• Saying “yes” when you mean “no”
• Overworking or overachieving to prove worth
• Feeling guilty for having needs
• Minimizing your feelings to stay agreeable
• Choosing partners or friends who dominate the relationship
• Fear of disappointing others

Fawning keeps peace, but it keeps you small.

Freeze vs. Fawn: Understanding the Difference

Though both responses come from fear, they look and feel very different:

Freeze	Fawn
Shuts down, withdraws	Moves forward to please
Feels stuck or numb	Feels anxious but accommodating
Avoids action	Overextends to keep harmony
Protects through invisibility	Protects through compliance

Both patterns are adaptive, not signs of weakness. They once ensured survival — but in adulthood, they often create emotional exhaustion, unhealthy relationships, and a weakened sense of self.

Why Freeze & Fawn Patterns Are Often Ignored

1. They Look “Normal”

Freeze can look like quietness or introversion; fawn can look like kindness or helpfulness.

2. Society Rewards Them

People are praised for being calm, compliant, or “not difficult.”

3. They Don’t Disrupt Others

Unlike fight or flight, freeze and fawn responses affect the person internally more than they disturb the environment.

4. They’re Hard to Recognize Internally

Because these patterns develop early, many adults believe “this is just how I am.”

Long-Term Effects of Freeze & Fawn Responses

If unaddressed, chronic freeze and fawn patterns can lead to:

• Anxiety and depression
• Emotional detachment
• Burnout or exhaustion
• Low self-worth
• People-pleasing tendencies
• Difficulty setting boundaries
• Toxic or one-sided relationships
• Identity confusion
• Chronic stress and health issues

Understanding these patterns offers a path toward reclaiming autonomy and emotional regulation.

Healing Freeze & Fawn Responses

Healing requires patience, self-compassion, and nervous system regulation. Here are several effective approaches.

1. Somatic Awareness

Begin by noticing body sensations associated with freeze or fawn — tension, numbing, restlessness, shallow breathing.

2. Grounding Techniques

• Deep breathing
• Progressive muscle relaxation
• Naming objects around you (5-4-3-2-1 method)
• Feeling your feet on the ground

These help bring the nervous system back online.

3. Reconnecting With Your Needs

Practice asking yourself:

• What do I want right now?
• What feels safe or unsafe to me?
• Am I abandoning myself?

Journaling helps build this internal awareness.

4. Practicing Boundaries

Start with small boundaries, such as declining minor requests or asking for alone time.

5. Inner Child Work

Freeze and fawn often stem from childhood wounds. Reparenting techniques help heal the part of you that learned safety through shutting down or pleasing.

6. Therapy

Modalities such as EMDR, somatic therapy, IFS (Internal Family Systems), and trauma-informed counseling are highly effective.

Final Thoughts

Freeze and fawn responses are not flaws; they are survival strategies formed in moments when you needed protection. But they do not have to define your adult life. By bringing awareness to these overlooked trauma patterns, you can begin to understand your emotional reactions, rebuild a stronger sense of self, and create healthier relationships.

Healing starts with recognition — and you’re already one step closer.